Music used to be my certain thing. I dreamt to be the next Joan Jett, conducting orchestras, world tours and all that jazz. I was 100% sure as soon as I started high school, nevermind everyone telling me it wasn't a real job. I studied music in college for 5 years and gave it my best. I could spend 8 hours a day practicing, alone in a windowless tiny room.
I was hard on myself and felt the heavy weight of the expectation that I needed to be perfect on my shoulders. It wasn't long until I developped performance anxiety everytime I had to play my main instrument (jazz guitar). The silver lining of it was that, to run away from all that stress and return to the fun part of learning how to play music, I started to learn every other instrument I could find. Bass, drums, flute, mandolin, accordion, ukulele, violin... I was that annoying person who could learn how to play anything.
I still am today... only difference being that I don't dream of sold out shows and standing ovations anymore.
I went sailing and saw plastic floating in the perfect turquoise color of the North Sea and that was it. I couldn't practice without feeling like what I was doing was meaningless. Although I took a different path, music will always be a part of my life and wherever I've been, I've always been able to bring joy and dance with a few notes .